You Owe Me
When I was growing up, there were many phrases I didn’t want to hear. “Wait until your father gets home.” “Don’t make things up.” “You made another mistake.” In a normal family, these statements...
Backing Up the Head with the Heart
As a trauma survivor, I have spent the majority of my life in my head. My body was not a safe place to reside. It held all the emotions and pain of my childhood. It held all the reminders of...
The Bad Days
Like all survivors, I have good days and I have bad days. Unlike popular opinion regarding emotions and moods, PTSD isn’t always something I can control with my thinking. My inner parts believe...
The Real Recovery Process
I often write about trauma recovery as a process or steps. I do this for many reasons. First, I have always loved making a confusing thing more understandable. I think this is a gift that I...
I’ll Just Wait
“Maybe if they die, I won’t feel so guilty for speaking up. Maybe they will apologize on their death bed. Maybe they will finally say the right thing. Maybe I will find a way to make everyone...
Repressed Memories Don’t Lie
I make it clear that my recovery journey involves repressed memories. And honestly, it hasn’t been an easy thing to explain. Most people can’t fathom how our brain can dissociate to that...
Dear Karma Kid
Dear Karma Kid, I know you have heard it a hundred times, but your past doesn’t define you. And because you have heard it a hundred times, I am going to explain what I mean. You are not evil...
Doing Nothing at All
I’m a control freak. I am not talking about the kind of control freak that people secretly love because she will get everything done so they don’t have to. I am talking about the kind of...
The How & The Why
How? For most of us, the recovery journey starts as a venture in to the world of feeling. Our poor bodies have been numb for so long, we don’t have any idea what it feels like to feel. It is...
