Leaving Survival Mode

Leaving Survival Mode

Complex trauma teaches us how to survive in the most difficult circumstances.  It teaches us how to stay alive when the odds are against us for extended periods of time.  We learn to make survival our most important priority.  We learn that nothing else in life really...
You Will Never Be Who You Were

You Will Never Be Who You Were

This might sound like an ominous title for a blog.  But I promise it has a happier ending than it seems.  One of the most common statements from my clients is that they want to be who they were in their twenties.  They had so much energy.  They got so much done.  They...
Time for Change

Time for Change

We live in a world of controllers.  Everyone around us is controller-enmeshed.  What does that mean?  The part who operates in survival-mode and makes their decisions from fear is running the show.  That’s why this recovery is revolutionary.  We are not just changing...
I Have the Power Now

I Have the Power Now

I’ve spent my life on defense.  Every decision I have made was to avoid some bad thing.  I’ve rarely made decisions for a better, fun or authentic life.  That was a luxury I didn’t feel I had.  I chose the safest route.  I chose the approach that avoided risk.  Why? ...
The Mini Chronicles

The Mini Chronicles

I have had a hell of a week.  I packed up our belongings while throwing half of them away, loaded the other half in a POD, put 6 months of essentials in a rental SUV (quite a big one), and drove 12 hours to a furnished house I had never seen before (other than the...
Where Is the Help?

Where Is the Help?

I grew up in a world where help came in two forms.  It was non-existent. Or it was a betrayal disguised as help.  My abusers made it clear that I was not going to find help.  Each time I tried to find help, it was thwarted.  Each time I had optimism, that optimism...