Where Does Shame Come From?
There is nothing more emotionally devastating than the weight shame has on our lives. The desperation of hiding our shame fuels most of our controller’s behaviors keeping us from our rest and...
Back to the Blog
When I started my blog, I was excited to have my voice heard. I felt like I had found my platform to say what I needed to say. I had finally found a way to get past the obstacles to put my...
The Wisdom of Isolation
As people grow cautiously optimistic about returning to some semblance of social interaction, many of us may be more concerned than we are divulging. We may be feeling a bit more comfortable...
The Terror of Happiness
I’ve had some good things happening in my life lately. I’ve been taking some big chances and it’s been working out. That sounds nice, doesn’t it? I agree it sounds nice. But I’ll be honest. ...
Going It Alone
I don’t watch much television. But I have a habit of watching “This Is Us”. I watch it every Tuesday night when there’s a new episode. My controller tries to shut down any potential emotion,...
Leaving Survival Mode
Complex trauma teaches us how to survive in the most difficult circumstances. It teaches us how to stay alive when the odds are against us for extended periods of time. We learn to make...
You Will Never Be Who You Were
This might sound like an ominous title for a blog. But I promise it has a happier ending than it seems. One of the most common statements from my clients is that they want to be who they were...
Time for Change
We live in a world of controllers. Everyone around us is controller-enmeshed. What does that mean? The part who operates in survival-mode and makes their decisions from fear is running the...
I Have the Power Now
I’ve spent my life on defense. Every decision I have made was to avoid some bad thing. I’ve rarely made decisions for a better, fun or authentic life. That was a luxury I didn’t feel I had. I...