are afraid you will act in a way that reminds you of your parents
‘shut down’ each time your emotions threaten to overwhelm you
struggle to set healthy boundaries because you just can’t seem to say no
are overly protective in your attempts to keep your children safe
have a tendency to doubt your children
struggle to trust teachers and care givers
find yourself repeating messages from your past to your children
feel guilty that you’re not the ‘perfect’ parent
feel trapped by the daily demands of parenting
But parents who are have experienced childhood trauma have an especially difficult time. We have no model to follow and we are fantastically good at beating ourselves up for not being perfect enough. We are also triggered by our kids every day even if we have no awareness of it. The messages that are deeply engrained in our brains often don’t match the parent we want to be. This results in an internal battle that can leave us reeling and paralysed. We’re afraid to set boundaries, unable to connect emotionally and terrified of making a mistake and scarring our kids for life. We certainly know what that feels like and we will do anything to ensure our children are not subjected to what we went through. But finding balance is difficult. Anxiety stalks us day and night. We are hyper aware of everything.
It’s exhausting …
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Parenting is the most difficult job in the world. That’s a given.
There are however, ways to make it easier on yourself, ways to understand how your past is dictating your present and ways to change the parental patterns that are causing you and your kids so much pain. Using the 7 habits I clearly identified in myself and my clients as the basis of this program is the simplest way for me to demonstrate, and for you to see, how the patterns created by your childhood trauma are showing up today. And with that knowledge, you can begin to make different choices from an informed and aware perspective.
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