My Kids Are Watching

My Kids Are Watching

When my children were born, I knew that I would dedicate my life to helping them be safe, healthy and happy.  I wanted my children to have a very different childhood than mine.  I was willing to sacrifice anything for them.  At the time, I didn’t realize that meant my...
Powerless Parenting

Powerless Parenting

Powerlessness is one of the most damaging emotions coming from a childhood of complex trauma.  It is the foundation of depression.  It keeps us paralyzed.  And if we don’t recognize it for what it is, it can lead to suicidal ideation and even suicide attempts.  The...
Nothing is Free

Nothing is Free

I haven’t always liked myself very much.  That is a side effect of growing up with horrible people who blamed their behavior on me.  But I have always been openly proud of my independence.  I have always seen my ability to function without help as a powerful...
What is it about us?

What is it about us?

I have been asked countless questions from trauma survivors about recovery.  For those of us on this journey, we are seekers and we want answers.  We do our research and we won’t stop until we understand.  I want to help people in their quest to understand.  Actually,...
Rethinking Paranoia

Rethinking Paranoia

Paranoia is one of the most stigmatized symptoms of complex trauma.  It is often viewed as a sign of a serious mental illness.  But the reality of paranoia is different.  It is everywhere.  I believe childhood trauma makes it a guarantee.  Paranoia can be so many...
The Dissonance of Relationship

The Dissonance of Relationship

There is nothing more complicated after a childhood of complex trauma than navigating relationships.  Why?  Complex trauma is relational.  We don’t have complex trauma without the failure of the primary relationships in our lives.  And while the dissociation we use to...