The Roller Coaster of Recovery
When we start our recovery journey, our controllers have big plans. We are going to find the right approach and helper the first time. We are going to find the shortest distance between point A...
The Toll of Toxic Shame
Toxic shame is one of the most detrimental epidemics in a world filled with childhood trauma. But it isn’t easy to see. It is often heavily defended by our dissociation, anger and futility. It...
Reigniting Joy
My trauma led me to understand emotions in a one-dimensional way: “bad”. They do come in two forms of “bad” though. There are emotions that are a bit uncomfortable, but tolerable. I can power...
The Reality of Fear
There is no single emotion that drives our world today, but if I had to choose the most impactful, I would choose fear. Fear is the most prevalent emotion on this planet and most of our decision...
The Isolator: Navigating Relationships after Trauma
I’ve been working with some intense battles in my system lately. I have a tendency to focus on my defenders when I am feeling blocked and I often discuss them in my writing. To be fair, the...
Not This Time
Depression is a global problem and it is affecting many more people than we think. And it is powerful in its impact on us. It stops us in our tracks. It keeps us from our purpose and goals in...
Instead of Resolutions
It’s resolution time, but I’m not a big fan of resolutions. The idea of resolutions was most certainly created by a controller-enmeshed society who wants to constantly chase goals. It is a...
The Battle of the Contracts
I’m tired today. I don’t know if it’s lack-of-sleep tired or soul-is-sick-of-everything tired or dissociated tired. Honestly, it would be easy to figure out if it is the latter. All I would...
The Attack on the Outgoing
I hear it often from my clients. “I’m quiet.” “I’ve always been an introvert.” “I just don’t have much to say.” “I used to talk too much but I matured, and I don’t do that anymore.” There...
4 Challenges of Parenting after Trauma
There is nothing more confusing than parenting after trauma. Our complex trauma teaches us to erase ourselves. It teaches us to ignore our most basic understanding of how the world works. It...
