I often work with clients to embody their inner parts and allow them to express. This is instrumental to the healing process. When we allow those parts to express, we allow those past emotions to release. It may feel backwards or illogical, but that is how it works.
In my own recovery journey, I do this many times per week. But something occurred to me recently. I have never shared my written inner conversations with you, so this week I will.
To set up this scenario, we are currently in the middle of a snow storm. I am feeling some anxiety about it, so I decided to write a conversation with my fearful inner child. I hope this helps you to understand how this process works.
Please understand this conversation comes after years of practice at inner part embodiment. When you get started, it may be difficult to switch back and forth quickly. That is okay. Just embody one part and write from them for a while. It will be immensely healing.
A Conversation Between Me and My Inner Child (8 to 10 years old):
We are doomed. There is no way to escape. We can’t get out. This is just like before. We are completely stuck in this house, in this neighborhood, in this city. My plans can’t work like this. There must always be an escape route. Don’t you understand that.
I hear you. I understand your need for a viable escape route at all times. But we are fine. We have power. We have warmth. We have food. We are safe in this home. The kids are safe. And if something bad happened, we have a car we can dig out. I know blizzards are scary for you. I know you have had bad experiences being locked in with your family as a child, but this is different. We are safe.
How do you know? What if they are out there? What if they are waiting for this opportunity? What if they choose a time like this to attack? What if we can’t escape?
You and I both know the people who abused us are wimps. They aren’t secret agents with special skills. They are stuck in the same blizzard. They are panicking too. They were the ones who taught us to panic when the weather turns bad. They are inundated with their own trauma right now. They would not have the capacity to plan an offensive. They just don’t work like that.
But what if we run out of food? What if the power turns off? What if the heat goes out and we freeze? What if someone gets hurt and we can’t get to a hospital? What if the dog gets sick? He’s getting old. So many bad things can happen.
My dear child, please do your best to let me be in charge right now. I know your parents didn’t know how to be adults, but I am doing a pretty good job of it these days. I have wood for the fire if the power goes out. And I can make a fire. Our refrigerated food will be fine in the snow if we lose power. We have enough food for three weeks. Even if we run out of fresh food, the pantry is stocked. If someone gets hurt, we are a mile from a hospital (which is why we won’t lose power for long). We will be okay here. I got this. Let me get this.
Sometimes you make mistakes.
Yes. Everyone makes mistakes. But please give me the benefit of the doubt. I am doing a good job considering the traumatic childhood I came from.
What if you make a mistake?
I will find another way. And say I am sorry.
What if we die?
Death is always a possibility, with or without a snow storm. But we can’t live life with the fear of death running everything we do. We need to live life while we are still here.
I am scared.
I know you are. I am here to protect you as best I can. I love you. And I want to help you feel safe and less scared. I will never knowingly put you in harm’s way. Please try to trust that I would not do that.
I am trying.
I know you are. I love you … no matter what.
If you are looking to converse with your inner parts or alters, I offer one-on-one survivor guidance sessions to help you build awareness in your life.