6 Ways Others Hold Us Back
We are living in a scary time. It is hard for everyone. But after childhood trauma, it can paralyze us. We already have inner parts who are programmed to find the fear in everything. We...
Finding the Rebellious Side
I grew up in an environment with one very clear message: who I am and what I believe does not matter. My opinions and emotions about my experiences were not welcome. My desires and plans in...
The Punished Life
It has been many years since I went “no contact” with my family. I have not regretted it. That doesn’t mean I have never felt an urge from my love seeker or karma kid to reengage. There is...
Taking Back our Credibility
When we are born into an abusive family, we are born into a war we didn’t know we were fighting. We also don’t know how to fight it. We were never given the weapons to fight this war. But the...
Why I’m a Bad Friend
I’ve always had this wish to have that circle of friends. You know that amazing group of friends we see in all the movies and commercials where they eat together, vacation together and are...
When This Work Matters Most
The futility has been sneaking in over this past week. It has been building just outside of my conscious awareness. This is what futility does. It doesn’t want to be noticed. It reminds me of...
The Fragments of a Dysfunctional Family
I decided to go no-contact with my family many years ago. It wasn’t a flippant decision. It wasn’t to punish my parents. It wasn’t any of those stereotypes about no-contact decisions. Those...
There Is a Story in My Family
There is a story in my family that my grandfather was a member of the KKK. This story is told differently from what you might be thinking. There is an eye roll and a condescending tone when it...
I Know and I Don’t
To my black friends as we rise up against structural racism, I have been struggling this past week. Let’s face it. I have been struggling this whole year. It has been an extremely triggering...
Healing with the Grounded Adult Self
I often talk about the grounded adult self and the importance of connecting with it for healing. But many survivors don’t believe they have a grounded adult self. It is understandable why they...
