I Am Not Shocked
I usually don’t write about current events. I do that on purpose. I want to keep the focus on recovery. Too much focus on current events can be triggering. Triggers can be helpful in recovery...
The Valiant Freedom Fighter
When it comes to parts work, there are some critical steps to healing ourselves. First, we must build awareness of our parts and their unconscious beliefs. Second, we must accept those parts...
A Messy World
Protecting my children has been one of my most important goals over the past 11 years. I have made it clear to my family and all other abusers that my children are not available to them. I have...
Nothing is Free
I haven’t always liked myself very much. That is a side effect of growing up with horrible people who blamed their behavior on me. But I have always been openly proud of my independence. I...
What is it about us?
I have been asked countless questions from trauma survivors about recovery. For those of us on this journey, we are seekers and we want answers. We do our research and we won’t stop until we...
You Should Be Grateful
Through my work with other trauma survivors, I have been surprised to learn how many similarities our stories share. The external circumstances are often different. But the beliefs we gain, the...
Dissociation is Everywhere
Last week, I wrote about the horrible invalidation that comes with claims that dissociation is not real. But there is another belief about dissociation (and particularly Dissociative Identity...
Dissociation is Real
Recently I was alerted to an article on Psychology Today which denounced dissociation as a real response to trauma. Not surprisingly, this article made my blood boil. The most infuriating part...
Rethinking Paranoia
Paranoia is one of the most stigmatized symptoms of complex trauma. It is often viewed as a sign of a serious mental illness. But the reality of paranoia is different. It is everywhere. I...
The Dissonance of Relationship
There is nothing more complicated after a childhood of complex trauma than navigating relationships. Why? Complex trauma is relational. We don’t have complex trauma without the failure of the...
