In case you hadn’t noticed, everyone has an opinion about what we should be doing during this quarantine. When we learn to please others at a young age, this barrage of opinions can be especially confusing. We need to know the right answer and we struggle to trust ourselves to have it. But the mixed messages from the rest of the world are not helping at all. This week, I want to give you permission to be and do what feels right for you. Accepting our current response is one of the most important things we can do as we live through this challenging time. Here’s a list to help you see what I mean. You are allowed to:
Stare out the window or at the wall for an undisclosed period of time
Spend five minutes deeply wanting connection
Spend the next five minutes loving this time alone
Internally judge others for their reactions because you are stressed and human
Be frustrated about this situation
Have no desire or energy for normal chores that are usually not a problem
Struggle with normal hygienic practices
Run all over the house doing everything you can find to do until you are exhausted
Feel intense fear about the future
Believe this whole thing has something to do with you
Be grateful that you are not quarantined with a particular person
Not feel bad about being isolated while others are miserable about it
Use the quarantine as a reason to say away from abusers
Eat everything
Not feel hungry at all
Wish you were someone else who has it better
Drink a little more than usual to numb those feelings
Lose your creativity and be unable to accomplish your normal projects
Feel unsafe and paranoid about what might happen next
Be angry at leaders who aren’t doing enough
Be furious at the virus
Be pissed about your cancelled plans
Need space from the only people you can be around
Pine for new connection
Not learn a new skill
Learn lots of new things and want to talk about them with others
Watch soooooooo much television programming
Obsess about being the characters of the shows because they are not in quarantine
Scroll through social media feeds more than usual
Lose track of time
Not want to spend time outside
Spend lots of time outside
Ask for help
Offer help
Not offer help
Play tons of video games
Not play video games if you hate them
Cook all the food all day long
Order out for every meal
Be completely DONE with your neighbors
Feel numb
Feel every single emotion a human could possibly feel
Dive into on-line shopping
Save every penny you can
Sleep weird sleep schedules
Struggle to sleep
Take in as much information as possible
Avoid information as much as possible
It is all okay. You can cope how you need to cope. And your way of coping can change on a daily basis depending on how you are feeling. Try to give yourself space to be the imperfect human we all are. And know that this is a traumatic experience which doesn’t need to be ranked or compared to other traumatic experiences. You have permission to be and do what you feel is right. There is no right answer here.
Yes weird thoughts and reaction are happening. At this time I have too much time to notice them.
You are not alone in that.
This list was exactly what I needed today! Struggling with hygene, not sleeping, and overeating, lots strange thoughts, and negative feelings. And then all the above..the complete opposite! Thank you for this list. It will help today to give myself more compassion.so grateful to know others are having some of the same struuggles. That helps a lot!
I am so glad it helps. Many folks are having the same struggles.
Some time ago I decided to do what felt right for me in stressful situations (without harming others, of course) and it worked for me. We spend too much time trying to please others and there comes a time when we wonder why we feel so unloved and drained, I´ve had my share of that and I am using this lockdown to get in touch with myself.
I am glad you are using this time for that!
Thank you for this, I needed it. So many thoughts and feelings about my own coping, but there isn’t one perfect way.
There isn’t one perfect way.
Weird. At the beginning of this virus I was feeling very anxious and fearful. Then I was listening to Joyce Meyer one day, she said something that made me embrace more hope. Hope is necessary, for me anyway. That really resonated with me. And so has prayer. I always thought of prayer as a chore, honestly. But lately, I have really wanted to focus on the heart of it. It’s not forced but actually wanting to embrace my time with God. Right now I’m experiencing that peace that passes all human understanding and I don’t want to lose that. I feel like it’s something I have to constantly work at. Like feeding my mind positive reinforcement. I want to dissect my pain so I can further discover my peace that I missed out on as a child, I feel like that is what I’m doing. This isolation time, is allowing me to visit all the fears that I carry with me from childhood. And I made up my mind, even though fear may never go away, I refuse to let it rule my world anymore. I have been waking up without anxiety. Which is unusual for me because mornings used to be my worst anxious moments. But not now. I would like to think that God, perseverance and prayer, your program, therapy has something to do with that. Over turning the rocks of my life so I can see what’s going on inside and see the blue sky again.
It sounds like you are doing some amazing work right now Regina!
I am still trying to own and accept my trauma, the world around us as it is, is definitely making this task more difficult. Reading this story has touched me and has started to take down that wall of me being able to own and accept my own trauma. Something i never thought i would be able to do. Thank you
I am so happy to hear that Sarah. I am glad this helped you.