As the quarantined weeks add up, our inner worlds can get a bit intense. It isn’t that the content changes much, but it gets louder and louder every day. And while we might try to ignore it, the best thing we can do now is to hear ourselves out. We have a lot more to say than we think. So today, I am giving you an example of what it sounds like in my head as I navigate this new world. I am doing this partly because I know it helps people to see this. I am also doing this because it is about all I can muster today. Here’s what my parts have to say.
I have to get on top of this thing. It is too uncontrollable and I need to be prepared for anything to happen. I must stay ahead of it as best I can. I don’t want to be caught without the knowledge and supplies I need to get through. I have to find the toilet paper and the pet supplies. I need to spend all my free time searching through the news to make sure I know what is going on. If this thing gets worse, I need to know it’s coming. I need to know before others know. I must always be ahead of the game.
On another note, I need to be working harder. I am wasting too much time. I should be using every spare moment to get more work done. This is an opportunity to create more workshops and products. I should be working harder than ever before. This is no time for downtime. I need to stop watching that stupid show and get more done. Everyone will want to know what I did during the quarantine and I need to have something to show for it. And I need to post about it on social media so people know I am not just sitting around. There’s no real trauma here. It is a time to shine.
I will NOT do what they say. They can’t tell me what to do. They can’t hold me in this God-forsaken place all day long. I am tired of this neighborhood. I have to get away. I have to escape. I have to travel the world and meet people. I cannot sit here day after day after day serving my children and working and watching TV. And God help me if I have to make one more damn meal. This is misery. This is not life. I might as well die instead of living such a completely ridiculous life. I am imprisoned and controlled by this virus, by the world and by my own system. I am tired of living this way. I won’t answer to anyone.
This entire world is a fucking lost cause! What a bunch of bullshit! What a bunch of idiots! I can’t even deal with this horrible, God-forsaken planet! I will not be a part of this ridiculous circus! What a joke! I am so done with all of it!
I can’t do this on my own! I need someone to help me. I don’t have what it takes. I can’t make it without help. Someone has to help me. I will never be able to get through this without help. I can’t be alone all the time. It is moments like these that the abandoned ones are unable to survive. Chaos puts us in danger, don’t you understand? We have to find someone. We have to find anyone who can help us now and keep us safe in this dangerous place at this dangerous time. I need my savior.
This is perfect! This is exactly what we need! Don’t you think this is perfect?