With this global crisis of epic proportions, it is not surprising how much my freedom fighters are triggered right now.  My controller keeps trying to take over and spin my mind on every possible problem that could come from this crisis.  Not helpful.  They are keeping me from my memories at a time when I most need to connect with myself.  And the massive display of controller and karma kid behaviors on a societal level is adding to my inner war in what seems to be leading to a perfect storm.  So today, I am writing about how I am done.  I am done with so many things.  And I am hoping this crisis can serve as a wake-up call for how our world lives in a “safety-first” mindset.  But we have to see it first.

I am done with panic ruling the world around us.  I understand this virus is a threat to survival.  But we are not going to survive by focusing on our sole survival as one human being among millions.  That isn’t how it’s going to work.  If we don’t calm down and stop raiding the toilet paper, we are going to put more people in harm’s way.  Panic buying and hoarding is coming from a place of scarcity.  There is no faith in this approach to life.  And while I know we learned this from very real abuse as children, this approach does not serve us in situations like this.  We have to help each other.  Our fear is real.  But these responses to fear are damaging.  And I’m done with this.

I am done with denial.  Denial about this crisis is NOT an enlightened view of the situation.  It is simply the flip side of the same coin.  It is still a safety response learned in childhood.  Denying there is a problem is meant to deny the pain inside about the problem.  Denying reality is often used against children in an abusive household, but it doesn’t change reality.  And talking down to people who are expressing real fear just makes you a part of the problem.  It is invalidating and abusive.  And I’m done with this.

I am done with hierarchies.  I am sick and tired of the hierarchies.  Why does an excessive amount of money make someone’s life more valuable?  Honestly, it just makes them a hoarder, a hoarder of money.  That comes from trauma.  They are in survival mode and they hoard money to cover their tremendous fear.  Why are they more important?  Why are they more deserving of testing?  Why are they more deserving of sick leave?  They’re not.  They never have been.  And I’m done with this.

I am done with lies.  Everyone is invested in their story.  I get it.  If they can get everyone to agree with their version of the story, it makes their story right.  Or so they think.  That’s actually not the case.  But everyone wants to try it anyway.  The lies aren’t helping anyone.  My social media feed is inundated with misinformation and far too much of it is purposefully misleading.  Stop it!  We must stop sharing this crap!  There is no benefit to a bunch of people agreeing with you about something that is wrong.  It could even kill people.  I am so done with this.

I am not trying to suggest there aren’t amazingly helpful people out there right now.  I am not missing the beauty of people doing things for others.  People are stepping up in powerful ways.  My perspective might be a bit skewed today, but I can see it.  It is there.  Mr. Rogers said to look for it and we need to look for it.  But we also have to get real about fear responses.  This crisis is telling us humanity must shift.  People need to look at the world through some new lenses.  This requires us to look deep inside and see where our behaviors start.  What do those fears have to say?  Listen to them and make a grounded decision about how to move forward.  This is an opportunity to heal on a massive scale.  And healing often comes from painful experiences.  This is one of those moments.  Use it to the fullest.  Tell your inner defenders to take a break from their fear frenzy and sit with self in a new way.  This is when we learn folks.  This is our moment to transform.