They say time heals all wounds. I hate that phrase. I hate it because it is a lie and it messes with our heads. It was created by the collective controller to give us false hope that doing nothing but living out the years will somehow miraculously heal us. Nope. It won’t work. Time does one thing for us when we have unhealed trauma. It increases our hopelessness because we can’t escape our patterns. And it hones our defenses against the hopelessness … at least until the defenses start to fail. Eventually, we become isolated and jaded and exhausted from the constant cycle of shit being thrown at us. That’s what time does.
I know that sounded really depressing. You may be thinking I am not in a good place today, but that was more of a soapbox than a reflection of my current state. I am angry that this distorted understanding of time has messed with so many good people who really want to heal. So I am being really blunt about how time is used against us in our recovery and journey towards purpose. We have to allow a new perspective when it comes to time. And we have to question the constant barrage of statements from our defenders who attempt to keep us stuck with their understanding of time.
So I am going to give you some phrases to look out for in your healing journey. If you hear one of these phrases, know that your defenses are committed to stopping you in your tracks. The defenders don’t do this to be mean. They do this to be safe. But in the end, it stops us from the life we are meant to have. Watch out for these phrases.
I am too old for this. Nope. Nope. And nope. Never ever listen to this one. There is no such thing as “too old”. I know you are thinking that is the biggest cliché out there. And it is. But all clichés are based in the truth (somewhere deep down). I don’t care what society says about when you are supposed to get a college degree, start a career, get married, have children or anything else. If your purpose is calling you in a direction and you don’t do it because of your age, it will be the biggest regret of your life. Even if it takes forever or you don’t succeed until you are 85, what else were you going to do with that time? You weren’t going to be at peace because your system would be at war over not taking these steps. So go do it.
Everyone else started before me. First, who is “everyone else”? That phrase immediately signals the presence of inner parts. They love to speak in extremes. If it sounds like a middle schooler in your head, it’s an inner part. Second, even if you go back to school with a bunch of 20-somethings, you are bringing experience that they don’t have. You are going to take this purpose in a direction that only happens with the knowledge you have accumulated and the purposeful skills you were born with. And you will be surprised how fast you can turn something into a success when you are on your path.
This will take too long. “Fast” is in the eye of the beholder. Your inner parts want immediate gratification. They want results right now. They don’t understand that success takes time. If something is quick and not likely to work, they are going to choose it over the thing that will take ten years and actually work. That is why quick fixes are so popular. Parts are looking for that quick miracle to make everything okay. And it doesn’t exist. It will take longer than your parts want to wait. But keep going. You will see results. And in ten years, you will think it was fast. It might even feel a bit too fast.
I have already done this for too long to change now. We often get stuck because it feels too overwhelming to face the time wasted not following our purpose. We don’t want to grieve the time we lost so we keep going in that same direction long after we know it is wrong for us. And we end up wasting even more time. The path of least resistance is almost never our path. Whether you get off that path now or in ten years, you are still starting from the same point. It is time to cut the losses and feel the pain of it so you can get started on something new. You won’t regret it.
When time-based phrases come up in your head, let it be a red flag, a signal that something isn’t quite right. Your grounded adult self is not obsessed with time. Your inner defenders are. If you can recognize this as a defense, you can begin to ask the right questions. Whether you are 24 or 74, it is not too late to take your life to the next level. Time is not your enemy. Time is a tool you can use to heal. Make a new relationship with time. And use it to get to know yourself.