The Truth about Trafficking

My latest article on The Huffington Post discusses the stereotypes about trafficking as I attempt to raise society’s awareness about the reality behind the scourge.  The image choice is not my preference as it perpetuates the stereotypes. The Huffington Post: The Truth about...
My Inner Rebel Will Not Be Stopped

My Inner Rebel Will Not Be Stopped

My family members were masters at squashing rebellion. It is what any good (or bad) dictator learns how to do before all else. It only takes one person to rise up against you, one bad link in the chain, and the empire can fall. Personally, I could not imagine depending on the fear in others to maintain the life I want. It sounds like a lot of work to keep that house of cards intact. But many are willing to try it because they think it is the only way to have power and control. And honestly, what can be easier than teaching children to fear you … especially if they are your children? I believe this actually works most of the time. I believe there are thousands (or more) of children who never speak of their devastating childhoods, who spend their entire lives deeply hating their parents while going through the motions of one big happy family, even arranging the perfect funeral for their parents in the end. My parents were expecting everything to happen just like that. After all, it is what they had done for their parents. And who are we kidding? Their parents did it too. Unfortunately for them, they had me. I have a rebellious side. I have always had a problem with people telling me what to do. I told far more people about their abuse than they expected. They had to do far more cover up than they had planned. And then, at 38 years old, I blew the lid off the whole thing, denying them their self-ascribed right to abuse their...

Violence in Childhood

Violence comes in many forms.  And children are exposed to it everyday. This piece I wrote for Ginger Kadlec looks at violence differently. Ginger Kadlec: Violence in...
Packing Up The Trauma

Packing Up The Trauma

When I was growing up, I never grew up. I grew upward. I grew taller as most kids do. But many aspects of my development stopped at a very young age. While my brain grew intellectually, my unprocessed emotions from my traumatic experiences thwarted my reliance on emotional intelligence and intuition. I had shut all of that down. And while I grew taller, I hid most of my unprocessed experiences in my body which resulted in chronic bouts with pain for many years. There is much discussion in the therapeutic community about how much recovery is possible when acute (one time) trauma becomes complex (chronic and inescapable) trauma. Most trauma experts are convinced that recovery can be extensive, but may never reach “full” recovery (whatever that may mean). As Dr. Bruce Perry stated in The Boy Who Was Raised As a Dog, “she [his patient] will always love with an accent”. I have always been optimistic about my recovery. I am willful and not afraid to go to the dark, shadow places in my psyche. For years, I have thought I could erase the affects completely, living a life that is untouched by my previous trauma. I have been told I am asking for too much by more than one trauma-focused clinician. But I can’t help it. I see the affects of my work. I see the emotional, mental and physical symptoms of my trauma falling away. I know the person I was before recovery and I know who I am now. So while I will keep my expectations in check, I can’t help but reach for the stars....